What's the matter with Beijingers? Why are they so miserable? The reason I ask is because a survey has revealed that 56 percent of Beijing citizens claim they are unhappy.
Only 23 percent admit they are happy, 2.5 percent say they are very happy and a paltry 0.08 percent of Beijing folk admit to being "extremely happy".
Now, I don't want to sound like a patronizing foreigner, but I think Beijingers have to wake up and smell the coffee. Good grief, things could be much worse.
You could live in Britain, jobless in a double dip recession. You could be reduced to watching on TV an Olympic games the country can't afford and few punters can buy tickets for. And even if you get hold of tickets, the public transport system can't cope.
Worse still, you could live in Athens, a once-proud Greek civilization, where more than half of young people aged 18 to 25 are out of work and where respectable men and women have been forced to line up at soup kitchens.
But before I count Beijingers' blessings, let's see why they are such unhappy people.
Professor of psychology Wo Jianzhong from Beijing Normal University carried out his happiness survey between March and June. The respondents were aged between 20 and 79, from all 16 districts and counties in Beijing.
The survey found that eight factors largely influenced people's happiness. They were income, living conditions, environment, health, job, education, marital status and sex life. Food safety was the biggest worry and cause of stress for Beijing families.
Other factors which caused psychological pressure included economic conditions, the fast-changing society, education and natural disasters.
Age was relevant too. Young people aged 20 to 29 were generally the happiest group. Wo explained that they are more ambitious about their careers and lives, have self-confidence and hope for the future.
Trust an academic to state the blindingly obvious. But hold on, do you remember your 20s? It's a pretty traumatic time when you try to establish your career and form relationships. And that self-confidence is often simply the arrogance of youth. Methinks the prof's young respondents were putting on a brave face.
As for Beijingers in their 40s, Wo says they are under the greatest pressure of work. Folks in their 50s worried most about their children's education.
The report suggests that as age increases, happiness decreases and people in their 60s register the lowest levels of happiness.
Now wait a cotton-picking moment. This flies in the face of what I've seen with my own eyes in Beijing parks. And that's groups of pensioners singing, dancing, practising tai chi, whirling kongzhu, playing cards and enjoying each others' company in conversation. Silly me, I must have been mistaken thinking they are happy.
Time to count Beijingers' blessings. First must be the wonderful, extensive and cheap public transport system of subways and buses. You can travel anywhere on the subway for 2 yuan ($32 cents). A bus fare is 1 yuan or 4 jiao if you have a travel card.
In Glasgow, my home city, it costs 12 yuan for a single adult fare on the Underground. The Victorian subway consists of two circles serving 15 stations. There's no money available to extend the system.
A ticket for the London Underground costs either 43 yuan or 53 yuan, but of course you can buy an Oyster card which will reduce the price by half.
I once read that Beijing has 60,000 restaurants, but I suspect that this is a gross underestimate. Beijingers can eat out, well and cheaply.
When my wife and I return to Scotland in August, we will kiss goodbye to eating out three or four times a week. Why? Because dining in a restaurant in Glasgow costs an arm and a leg.
I could mention Beijing's warm summers and bracing winters, which I have enjoyed, or the friendliness of residents, despite their deep unhappiness, but my thoughts are turning to a rainy summer in Scotland.