Thu, December 22, 2011
This week our local love doctors, Joe Schaefer (right) and Ginger Rong Chen (left), are dishing out advice on what to do when your partner wants to role play but you're not sure if you want in on the act:
My wife wants to spice up our sex life. For Christmas, she has mentioned she wants me to be Santa Claus while she dresses up as Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. We’ve never role-played before. Is she asking too much? - Christmas Turkey
The Western View
Asking too much? I don’t think it’s nearly enough. Your wife told you what she wants for Christmas, so it’s up to you to deliver. But only an Ebenezer Scrooge of a husband would stop merely at what is suggested. If she wants spice, then man up and give her the full mug of cinnamon eggnog. Let’s start with her decision to be Rudolph. A quick read between the lines tells me she wants straps involved, and a dose of the whip. Nothing too hard, as this is your first time, just enough to get her cheeks as red as her nose. If you are game to turn it up a notch, get the entire cast involved: Mrs. Claus, some elves, perhaps a Dutch guy named Sinterklaas. Don’t stress about keeping the production value too high—you aren’t filming it. Unless of course you are, in which case you will want to use real dwarves. If the event goes smashingly, plan on adding a nativity scene to next year’s pageant. Just don’t ask me where to find goats in Shanghai. The gift of a good sex life is truly the gift that keeps on giving. I believe it was the Three Wise Men who left us with this sage-like carol: “Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse / Sadly that includes your wife’s libido / So throw on the fake beard, and mistletoe Speedo!”
The Chinese View
Am I hearing this right? Are you actually wondering, “Is she asking too much?” If that’s a “yes,” I’m afraid I have to get a little rough with you: “Dude, YOU are probably asking too little.” Unless you are simply thinking Rudolph is just not blood-rushingly-hot enough, that to be sexually aroused by a red-nosed reindeer can be quite a challenge. Then that’s easy. Talk to your wife. Tell her that reindeers are just not your type. Maybe an elf, a fallen angel or a bad girl pleading hard for a little hug and love from Santa Claus at the last minute. Dig deeper into your fantasy. The possibilities are limitless when you already have a playful wife. The point is you’ve never role-played before. So why not give it a try? She wants it. You want to give her what she wants, don’t you? Come on, you’ve already bought her the house, the car, given her the rope around your neck—what’s a little role-playing going to hurt? You may even end up loving it. Well, of course there’s also the possibility that role-play is just NOT your cup of tea. Then the practical way is to make your own list: threesome, S & M, sex in public, or simply man on top, whatever you like. You two do it once her way, once your way. Fair and square. A little compromise, like jumping into role-play, goes a long way in a married couple’s sex life. You’ll see.
Do you have a sex, dating or relationship problem? Can no one else help? Send your quandaries to our expert sex columnists at sex.relationships@ringierchina.com or leave them below.
See also:
Let's Talk About Sex: The Out of Town Ex
Let's Talk About Sex: Craving More Kink
Let's Talk About Sex: Love Chub
Let's Talk About Sex: Meeting the Parents
Let's Talk About Sex: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
